


Failure

by wink_wink



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Minor Character Death, Non-Canonical Character Death, Order 66
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wink_wink/pseuds/wink_wink
Summary: This shouldn’t be happening.They shouldn't be doing this.There shouldn’t be a thousand voices screaming into the force. Screaming of betrayal.I shouldn’t have had to kill Commander Lux. He was a good man. He was a friend. When we weren’t fighting for our lives on some backwater planet, we’d find time to play a short game of dejarik with me and my padawan on the holotable in my quarters. What went wrong. How did the quiet laughs and high fives between the loyal soldiers of the 13th and their doe-eyed padawan, turn into hails of blaster fire and dead men - Crusher, Doc, Hope, Crash, Gate, Lux...Cal.
Relationships: Cal Kestis & Jaro Tapal
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Failure

A week had passed since the end of their campaign in Bracca and Cal’s training was coming along very well. The child had only been with him for a little over a year, but one would think the two had been together forever. 

After receiving our new orders from the jedi council to aid Ki-Adi-Mundi in his campaign of Mygeeto, Jaro Tapal let out a sigh of relief. These orders came as great news, considering the fact that Obi-wan was engaging General Grievous on Utapau, the war would soon be over. My young padawan would never have to be a true Commander; he would no longer have to see his friends die on the battlefield; he would have the chance to be a real padawan without the looming threat of war. I was quite eager to inform my padawan of the good news and asked Commander Lux to join me for Cal’s final training session before we travel to Mygeeto. 

Once me and my Commander had reached control room in the training room I holoed my padawan “padawan, have you woken up yet?” 

Cal’s small figure quickly appeared on the holopad with haphazard robes hanging off his shoulders while rubbing his eyes, “yes, master Tapal.”

I chuckled, “are you sure padawan? Your hair is trying to defy gravity, again?”

Cal immediately straightened up and patted his hair down with a sheepish smile “Yeah master I’m sure now.”

“Alright, I believe you now” I laughed hartley as my sleepy padawan continued to try and mold his disorderly hair. “I’m here to tell you to meet me in the training hall.” At the news, Cal smiles radiantly. I could almost see him vibrating as he ran off the holo with a hurried “right away master!”  
Both me and Commander Lux snickered as we waited in the training room. “That kid really is something, the boys are real protective of ‘im.” Lux observed. 

“Yeah he really is,” I answered with a small genuine smile, “I want you to know how grateful I am to you and your men for keeping him safe during this war and hopefully you won’t have to much longer.” 

Lux turned to face me before rigidly saluting, “It’s been a true honor serving with you, General, and your padawan” he said before dropping his salute. 

I could almost see him smiling from behind his visor as he turned away from me to face the door on the other end of the training room where Cal was just arriving nearly panting from his rush to get here.

“Master Tapal?” Cal asks after finally catching his breath.

“Ah, padawan it’s time for instruction” I answered

“Yes master?”

“Reach our position” I responded with a teasing smirk “and do not keep me waiting”

About halfway through the course, Lux tries to distract Cal with some blaster fire (on stun of course) “Whoa! Ha- cheap shot, Commander!” I could almost hear the smile on my padawan as my Commander chuckles from the doorway. 

“Focus. Were you concentrating you would have anticipated this distraction” I said “better, padawan. Join me.” I knew I was being a little harsh on him, but I needed him to train and to be able to perform these types of maneuvers. We lived in a warzone and if keeping him safe meant that I had to be a harsh teacher then that's what I’ll do. 

I turned to face my Commander, who had moved away from the doorway and faced me. “So what’s next, Sir?” Lux questioned. “We will begin with physical preparation” I answered. 

“But first we have orders” I finished as I moved towards my red haired padawan who had just entered and was once again moving to fix his unruly mane. I moved closer to him, “Bracca is secure. We move out for Mygeeto shortly.”

As soon as I had finished, Cal halts the fixing of his hair and immediately jumps for joy with a squealed “yes!”

I smiled, “you must --” 

The force slammed into me filled with the screams of thousands. All shouting of betrayal. The pain of it all made me grab my head into my hands; the world suddenly unbalanced. I hardly noticed the transmission Commander Lux received or the worried shouts from my padawan. As the transmission ended, I finally understood - the jedi have been betrayed and by our own men. As Lux was about to turn his blaster to me, I did what I had to and granted him a quick death by a few strokes of my lightsaber. I watched him fall and I knew there was no time to mourn, for these were not the men we fought alongside, these were not the men we laughed with, these were the men we would have died for. 

I turned to my padawan. The fear and the pain in the force were still rippling across my mind, but I pushed it away for now, my padawan needed help. 

“What’s happening? Why did the Commander just…” Cal questioned the fear and confusion palpable on his facehis terror slipping into my mind through our training bond. 

I closed my eyes and reached out into the force, trying to see why this was happening.   
Oh, force. The jedi were being massacred. The generals, the commanders, the padawans, even … the younglings. We had to get off this ship. I was already formulating a plan as I pushed my thoughts away from the dying screams in the force. I need to make sure the men didn’t follow us. If I overload the ship's reactors, it would create an explosion that would destroy the ship. This would allow Cal and I to safely depart using an escape pod. I couldn’t bring Cal with me to sabotage the reactors, it was too dangerous a mission and if one of us had to get out alive, I wanted it to be him. If Cal uses the maintenance halls, he wouldn’t encounter many troops and could get to the escape pods fairly easily. This could work.

I opened my eyes and looked at Cal’s frightened green eyes and told him the truth, “padawan, something terrible is happening” I said, “the clones have betrayed us. There are no answers to your questions, not yet.” 

I directed Cal towards the main door with a firm hand on his still messy tunic; a remnant from a less confusing time, “we have to get off this ship quickly. Get to the escape pods. Use the maintenance halls.” I kneeled before him and looked him in the eyes. “We trained for this, do you remember?” It was a poor attempt at comfort but it was the best I could offer with the voices of dead jedi screaming into the force in the back of my mind. 

Cal as usual responds with a quick “yes, master.” I can still see the worry in his doe-eyes and the uneasiness in our bond as he continues by asking “w-what about you?”

“I will create a distraction and meet you. If I am not there when you arrive, depart without me.” I responded, my hand still firm on his shaking shoulder. “I will find you on Bracca. Do you understand?” I needed to know that he would be safe. That even if I wasn’t there, he would live and he would be okay.

“Yes, master” Cal replies tears nearly glistening down his freckled cheeks.

A loud bang interrupts us. “They’re coming” I said, tenseing with my hand itching for my saber. Cal needed to go before the troops came down those halls. “I will seal the blast doors but if any cross your path, do not hesitate.” I said strenuously. Cal needed to understand that these were not the same men he helped put bacta on in the med bay with Doc’s supervision or the same men who gave him high-fives before training, these men were now the enemy and would kill him if he forgot that. 

I turned to look at him, his face full of fear and a strange determination, “Go,” I instructed, “and may the force be with you.” I pushed the door controls as the sound of blasterfire rang out from the hallways beyond. “Go!” I yelled as Cal hesitated by the door. “Go!” I bellowed as Cal finally took off into a sprint to the hallways beyond. I could only pray to the force that he’d be alright. 

I rushed through the training hall. Taking out any troops I came across, their yellow striped armor bleeding into the durasteel halls as I made my way to the reactor’s controls. After quickly deflecting the blaster bolts, I sealed the blast door behind me, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they got it open again. From the transparisteel window overlooking the reactor, I could see the large semicircle descending from the ceiling towards the raised coupling rising from the floor. I quickly looked over the control panel before moving the bright red slider towards the opposite end to exponentially increase the amount of power being directed to the reactor. I smiled as the reactor began sparking; electricity rolling out in waves from the space between the couplings. 

After I heard the tell-tale screech of a door being forced open, I hastily turned to deflect the baster bolts. After taking care of that squadron, I used my lightsaber to destroy the reactor's control panel as the unstable core’s power shattered the glass. 

I made my way up the floors to the escape pods, while taking out any troops that I encountered. Along the way, I came upon two troopers firing into the maintenance hall. I knew they must have found Cal. I promptly thrust my lightsaber into one of the men then kicked the other one off the edge and down into the abyss below. I spotted Cal tightly holding onto his lightsaber and pulling himself up from the platform. I sent wisps of comfort through our bond as Cal spun to look up at me. 

“Keep climbing! I’ll meet you up ahead” I shouted to him. As much as I wanted to stay with him, I knew we needed to get away from the ship as fast as possible; I could feel the vibrations from the reactor as small explosions rocked the ship. 

I turned back out of the doorway and continued to make my way to the escape pods, taking out more squadrons of troops as they appeared from behind evermore blast doors. Before I finally arrived at the doors that lead to the escape pods, just to feel pain flare across the bond and witness two troopers firing on my padawan. His slight body letting out a gasp as the bolts hit him, and before I could blink, he was sprawled on the ground - unmoving. 

“Padawan, no!” I exclaimed, using the force to push the two armored men away from Cal’s motionless figure. 

My padawan was injured. I threw my lightsaber at the blast door controls to stop more troops from entering and hurting my padawan further. 

“Cal. Padawan, are you with me?” I asked, lowering my voice to a soothing tone as I gingerly lifted Cal into my arms. I promptly assessed his wounds and in that moment, I knew that it would be mortal. I could only hope that I could patch him up with the supplies on board the escape pod and save him. First I needed to know that he was alright right away, I only received a soft groan as his body curled towards my shoulder. I moved him over to the escape pod’s controls and gently laid him by the door. I hurriedly worked on the door controls, as banging from behind the blast door began.

“Mmmm… master? Is that you?” Cal asks sluggishly, eyes barely glinting open.

“Shhhh my padawan, save your strength” I calmly responded, his pain flickering across the bond. “I’m almost finished with the door, once this is all over we’ll finally be able to finish our game of dejarik” I answered with a meager smile. This earned a chuckle from my padawan, which abruptly turned into a coughing fit. 

I finished with the controls as quickly as I could; the escape pod’s hatch opening with a hiss. I grabbed my padawan as quickly as I could, with the blast door beginning to open and bigger explosions racking the ship. His eyes were closed now, a small stream of blood running down the side of his mouth. His normally pale skin had always glowed in contrast to his red hair; but, now his skin was clammy and had lost its sheen.

We entered the pod and I placed Cal gently to the floor, as the door closed and we jettisoned away from the exploding ship. I kneeled by my padawan’s still frame, “Hey there, my padawan, can you hear me?” I asked gently, using my large hands to pull his body towards my chest. He didn’t answer and merely curled closer to my heart as the coughing began again. I could see the blood staining my robes, but I couldn’t find it within myself to care as I gripped him closer to my chest; gently fiddling with his stubby padawan braid. I knew in my mind that his wounds were too grievous and this time together might be our last; but, in my heart I could not dare believe that I had failed my padawan, that he was...dying because of me.

His eyes opened at last, “master?” He whispered, his coughs subsiding. 

“Yes, my padawan” I responded, gently shifting my padawan's body so that I could look into his tear filled orbs. 

“Would you keep this for me?” Cal asked, slowly raising his hand to reveal his lightsaber. 

“It is not mine to keep, padawan. You might need it in the future.” I said, my voice growing quieter, trying to convince myself more so than anyone. I needed to believe that my sweet padawan would make it, because what would I do without him? 

I had been taught from birth that jedi were not supposed to form attachments, but during the time we’d spent together I had come to truly care for the boy. I couldn't imagine playing a game of dejarik in my quarters after a rough battle. His energy lifted my spirits when the war ravaged them. There was no one else I would rather have as my padawan.

“No, master. It's okay, I’ll be with the force soon, right?” He questioned, tears running down his face. “It’ll be okay, right master?” His voice hiccuping as he became more desperate for comfort as the bond between us became more strained. 

My heart ached for him. My vision becoming blurred from unshed tears, “It’s going to be alright, Cal, I’m sorry, I’ve failed you” 

Cal was gasping for breath at this point, the blood running swiftly down his chin, “Never failed...best master...I know”

“Cal,” I gasped the name escaping me in a breath of air that sounded more like a sob. 

I reached to his fist, still firmly gripping his lightsaber, and gently rolled it into my waiting hand. 

“I will hold onto this for you padawan. I’ll make sure to take care of it,” I announced.

This earned me a small smile as his eyes slipped shut, his body becoming dead weight in my arms. His bloodied lips slightly parted, his last breath having recently escaped them. My padawan, my Cal, was gone. 

I had nothing left to give him. Nothing but tears and grief. Even in the end, all I could was take. Take his lightsaber, take his padawan braid, and take his affection for granted. I felt like I had aged years in the mere minutes that everything took place in. 

I pulled his limp body closer, my arms wrapping around his small frame as though my arms could trap his soul with me for just a little longer. My hand tightened around his lightsaber. Cal’s smaller hand falling to the cold unforgiving floor of the escape pod. 

I failed him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work and I hope you enjoy it! If you have any constructive suggestions for my writing, I would love to hear any recommendations you have so that I can improve my writing in the future!


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